There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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