Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just google imaged poop.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
