ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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