I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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