Only a mothe r could love this liver
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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