Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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