Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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