Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
being pregnant is like rehab
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
