Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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