How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
