so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
