Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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