I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
