Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
