i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
