Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
