what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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