how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
