I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
