I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
well you can't waste a boner
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
