i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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