you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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