It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
