i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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