at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize