I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
