Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
