...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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