i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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