Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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