I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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