I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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