Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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