Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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