Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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