oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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