just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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