I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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