I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
