hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
jump out the window naked night went bad
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