I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
