Redeem this text for a blowjob
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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