I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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