She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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