I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Randomize
