Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
