She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
