I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
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Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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