Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I smell stomach acid.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
