you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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