all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
