3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize