does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
