im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
