I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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