he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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