So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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