Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i think i have herpe
just one?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
