I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
God, I missed his penis.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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